We are all empowered and independent people. And there are a lot of roles, responsibilities, relationships and structures we are in, consciously and unconsciously.
One of the things that I often hear from my clients is the feeling that putting themselves first, taking care of themselves or implementing new wellness programs takes too much time and might be selfish. They feel like everybody else’s needs are more important. They need to be there for their family, their co-workers, their partners, their friends…. and that leaves no room for themselves.
If that sounds familiar to you… here is what I know and see over and over:
the opposite is true. Being “healthy selfish” is a game changer!
If you are feeling your best, you have way more energy and focus to give to others.
If you are putting yourself first, you have clearer idea of what you want, what your priorities are and where you want to spend your energy – which leaves more focus and full on love for those that actually are your priority.
And, putting yourself first, getting clear on priorities is powerful….it also helps you get rid of time and energy suckers (saying NO and having clear boundaries is a bigger topic all by itself).
HOW TO SHIFT YOUR PERSPECTIVE ON SETTING NEW HEALTHY LIFESTYLE HABITS:
- SCHEDULE TIME FOR YOURSELF
Most of us have busy schedules. Make sure to make “time for self” a priority. Schedule it into your day – depending on where you are at – start with twice a week and dial it up from there. The ultimate goal is (at least) once a day.
For me, the most intentional block here is the morning. I get up earlier and make myself priority number one. I love this quiet time! Meditation, journaling, gratitude and planning for the day happens there – and so much becomes clearer, more purposeful and more intentional by sticking to this me time. Everybody benefits – me, my family, my co-workers, my clients etc. If I decided to show up, I truly show up. If it doesn’t align with priorities – I cut whatever it is from my commitments.
All my clients – seriously EVERY SINGLE ONE – who tries this, report major improvements. - CHECK YOUR SELF TALK
Yup, we know this one in theory. But do we actually check in? The way we talk to ourselves is one of the most important tools we have to make things work amazingly – or sabotage ourselves and our lives – and everybody around us. Our brain is a goal achieving machine. If it hears over and over again how much we suck – it will collect evidence for it wherever it can! First step: LISTEN to the voices in your head, catch the disempowering and negative ones and simply ask “is this true?”. I bet it is not – and once that becomes clear to you, work at replacing those thoughts with positive and self-empowering ones. Make that self talk support you in taking and intentionally using this time you schedule for yourself powerfully! - ENLIST SUPPORT
It is important for most of us that people close to us, our partners, family, close friends, are on the same page with what we are doing. If we secretly feel that they might think that we are being selfish by taking time for ourselves – let’s make sure to discuss the topic openly. More often than not, my clients report that close ones are actually super happy and supportive with their decision to take better care of themselves! And interestingly enough, in the rare case where there are issues and objections – the open discussion about this brings so much urgency and power to the topic that it usually ends with support, and deeper understanding, anyway. This will make you feel better – and it will also hold you accountable to actually sticking to it.
Take these simple steps to start your journey to being healthily selfish and putting your optimal health and wellness first. Once this is started, everything else can follow and fall into place much easier.
I hope this supports you, let me know in the comments @youroptimum.
Barbara
